This blog entry is a long time overdue, but I’ve been searching my head and my heart for the right words to say and how to appropriately articulate my feelings. On the morning of Wednesday, November 9, 2016, at 5:50 a.m., the music of my alarm on my phone awoke me with its pleasant yet insistent notification that it was time for me to get out of bed and begin a new day. My girlfriend was already up, and she checked the news on her tablet and let out a disgusted, saddened groan; Donald Trump had won the election.
My heart sank in my chest, and I felt sadness, despair, and impending doom within me. I tried not to show it, but I was completely down in the dumps. I quickly checked my newsfeed on facebook, and saw that a lot of my friends with like mindsets were in mourning for America as I was. The ones who I felt the most sorry for, were my lgbt friends, one of which was afraid to leave his own room for fear of being shot.
The majority of the morning at work, my soul was weeping. Luckily a few jokes and jabs and Trump by my friend and coworker, Kaylee, helped to cheer me up somewhat. In my mind I kept asking myself, “What’s the future of America? Is Trump going to turn us into a fascist nation with a totalitarian government the likes of Hitler’s Germany? Is there any way that empathetic, free-thinking folk like myself will be able to function in this new society?”
Now as I sit here on Black Friday, with my belly gleefully stuffed with Thanksgiving goodies, those same questions echo in my mind even louder. Are my friends safe? Are my loved ones and family safe? Does freedom even have a future in this nation?
Our vice-president is going to be a homphobic, transphobic , Islamophobic, misogynist blackguard. I am even more worried about Pence than I am Trump. I don’t know how in the world Trump ended up getting elected. His open hatred of minorities and women, and contempt of folk with disabilities should have obliterated his qualifications for the presidency long ago, but nevertheless he won. It doesn’t make sense. This nation doesn’t seem to be moving forward but backward, to an era when women didn’t have any rights, racial minorities were hung and shot, homosexuals and transsexuals had to lock themselves in the proverbial closet, fearing for their lives, and white straight “Christian” males held sway over all. These are the “good old days” that our grandparents have always talked about. They were good for them, and hell for those that didn’t have their privilege.
Trump’s presidential cabinet is looking to be a haven of neo-Nazis, Christian fundamentalists, and war-mongers. The future of this nation does not look good at all. Sadly, some of my friends fully support Trump, and think that my worries are a bunch of “liberal nonsense.” Everything will be alright. Trump will be great, you’ll see. He’ll do what he promised. He’ll make America great again.” I am so fucking sick of hearing that slogan I could puke. People that say that “everything will be ok” are usually the ones that are white, straight, and Christian. They don’t stop to think about my friends that are of different faiths, races and sexualities. Everyone, despite my vehement stating otherwise, seems to think I am a traditional mainstream Christian. I am nothing of the sort. I am a Christian mystic. So are my freedoms going to be stamped out as well?
I’ve seen a lot of people say that “no matter who is president, God is still in control,” and statements of the like, but again, a lot of these people are Trump-supporters. I believe that God is in control, yes, to a certain extent, but I also believe that God is a lot like the Watcher in the Marvel Comics Universe. He observes, but he can’t interfere in the prime directive of mortal beings. We have to create our own reality and our own future.
I don’t know what this nation will become. But I refuse to bend the knee to the dark wave of ignorance, hatred, nationalism, sexism fanaticism, racism, and fundamentalism that I know will come crashing in when Donald Trump takes office. I will continue to be who and what I am and stand where I stand no matter what……