A spiritual awakening, quest, and transformation…..


I’ve been thinking and debating a long time of posting this topic; for nearly two months, I have agonizingly deliberated in my mind and my heart about whether or not to post this. It’s not because it might be a controversial topic, or because it might piss/turn some people off, especially the more conservative-minded Christians of my faith, but I just wasn’t sure whether what I had felt in my heart and had come to know as the truth was right or not. I was afraid. Afraid of heresy and going directly against all I was taught about God, Christ, the Holy Spirit, and spirituality.
You see, I was originally brought up in a Baptist household, one that was not completely fundamentalist per se, but pandered toward the harsh fundamentalist ideas without completely embracing fundamentalism. I ended up attending fundamentalist churches and schools, and even though my parents had some rather strict and questionable values, their own values weren’t as strict as the churches and schools I attended. In fact, I remember telling my mom about the beliefs one particular school I attended touted as their creed, and she responded with, “Whoa! That’s just weird!” But told me to love and respect them anyway, but their beliefs were not our own.
From my childhood, up until my very early 20’s I witnessed just about every ugly, hideous, hateful side of Christian fundamentalism you could imagine; from the judgmental, cold, cult-like propaganda of Bob Jones University that was taught in one of the schools I attended, to the vile vitriol of the religious right, to homophobic gay-bashing, to the paranoid Satanic Panic, to frankly demonic hellfire-and-brimstone preaching; I witnessed it all.
And from my early to latter 20’s, I embraced a more compassionate, but still morally restrictive form of Christianity. Then when the year 2012 came, a big change happened for me; an intense spiritual awakening the likes of which I never witnessed before. Very powerful and otherworldly. I began to become aware of the positive spiritual forces surrounding me, and I began to become aware of what God really was. I began to question some of the more harsh, uncompassionate teachings I had been taught in the school system, in church, and at home, and I began to see that the Bible wasn’t this absolute holy solid document straight from God that I was originally taught it was. I read the Bible cover to cover, and began seeing discrepancies, contradictions, and signs that indeed mankind had a big hand in, instead of the Divine.
I researched and learned about the Council of Nicaea, where, at the whim of one power-hungry Roman Emperor, the humble message of the Messiah was twisted and grossly transformed into a thing of power and popularity, and Christianity took on a rather oppressive, bloodthirsty new face. And also that many of the original books of the Bible, hundreds of thousands in fact, were thrown out by this Emperor, Constantine, and the Scriptures were revised completely, and those that stuck to those old texts that were exterminated, were hunted down and exterminated also.
I was exposed to and gave great thought to the viewpoint that God does not just belong to the Christians, or the Jews, or the Muslims, or the Buddhists, or the Hindus, but to all of these peoples and more; He has been revealing Himself throughout the ages to people of different faiths and cultures according to what they would best understand, and not just one culture that simply thinks they have the right and only way to God. Hence, all the gods are not different gods, but different aspects/facets of the One God. We no longer have the dark forces that were masquerading as gods from the Scriptures and demanding blood sacrifices because man has grown smarter and more enlightened.
And when I researched the Christian Universalist Joshua Tongol, and listened to his messages, it all came together for me. From what I’ve heard in Tongol’s messages despite how fundamentalist Christians try to demonize other faiths, they all of them know Christ and accept Him as the Messiah. Christ is the Universal Redeemer, and He lives in all of us, whether we believe it or not, and whether we accept Him or not. The Church wants to tell us that we are born into sin as loathsome creatures, but the reality I’ve found is that Chris already blotted that sin out ages ago when He shed his blood on the cross. Salvation doesn’t come about from saying some sinner’s prayer and asking Christ into your heart, but it comes with the realization that Christ is already in you and He has always been. He was the Lamb slain from the Foundation of the World. Hence what He did and decided to do echoes not only into the eternity of the future, but the eternity of the past because He decided to do it. It was set in stone at a quantum level, and defies the rules of time. Christ didn’t tell his disciples to make people say some sinner’s prayer, but to “open up their eyes.” And the opening of the eyes makes one see that truth, the TRUE Gospel, that Christ is already in you, and that is the Salvation. You aren’t being saved from some dark cosmic dungeon where you are tortured eternally and are eternally separated from God because there is no place that God is not. He is everywhere. Hell as Christians thinks of it does not exist. It’s a mistranslation, and a deliberate bastardization of the Scriptures by the powers that be to keep people controlled and afraid. God doesn’t give us the spirit of fear.
I would get way off topic and begin to ramble into something completely different if I addressed the mistranslation and myth of Hell, so I encourage you either to research it for yourself or contact me with your questions about it.
In addition to all of this, I found that all that matters, all the commandments and rules that those around me growing up were so adamant about preaching to follow and do or do not do; all those boil down to one thing as Christ said; loving one another and God. And that is all that matters. Not the music you listen to, not the books you read, or the movies you see, or the games you play, or the clothes you wear, or the food you eat, or if you drink alcohol or smoke or dance. None of that matters. This is all legalism and is man-made; it is mankind trying to put us under the Old Law, and the only reason we were ever under the Old Law was to be made to see that we didn’t need it after all; that the Old Law is what was keeping us down. What matters is relationships and loving each other. Christ didn’t go after the people that were “sinning” in the eyes of the religious community; He went after the religious community itself; the Pharisees and scribes and high priests. And the same people He chastised all those thousands of years ago are still around, in the form of fundamentalists that claim to follow Him, but oppress everyone with legalism. And if Christ were to come back in the flesh and walk this earth again, it would be the fundamentalist Christians that would kill him again.
So many people, when they read what Yeshua (Christ) said about “unless your spirituality is deeper than the Pharisees, you will not see the Kingdom of Heaven, think that that means that you have to be ultra-righteous. When actually it’s a complete mind-flip; the spirituality that Yeshua was talking about was not a collection of thou shalt and thou shalt nots, but simply to love and to be love. The Pharisees couldn’t get that, and that’s what He meant when He said “deeper spirituality.”  And from that love, will come the Kingdom of Heaven. It is inside each one of us, and when we all learn to love one another, that’s when the Kingdom will manifest itself. Christ said not to look for it here nor there, but inside of oneself; in the heart. For we are all made of the same stuff. As Yeshua said in the apocryphal Book of Thomas, we ALL come from the Light. When we realize that, God’s love will begin to flow through us and out of us, and into others, blessing them and making this world so much better.
Not only did I discover all of this, but I discovered my connection to the spiritual world in being a clairvoyant/empath. Many Christians would condemn me as dabbling with witchcraft and having traffick with demons for admitting such, as they do mediums such as Theresa Caputo, James Van Praagh, and John Edwards. But they fail to understand that the difference between them and such villains in the Bible as the Witch of Endor and Simon the Sorcerer is that the latter two used their gifts to exercise power over both the other realms and the physical world. They would cast spells and hexes on people and control them, and they would summon spirits, ripping them out of one dimension and commanding them to enter this one to give them there power. The mediums of today don’t summon and command spirits, nor do they exercise power over people; they are simply there to serve others and help them connect to lost loved ones. The spirits choose to come to them, they don’t call them up from the abyss.
And all the spiritual forces I’ve felt and things I’ve seen, I have not summoned or chased after. It’s a gift. It’s being able to sense what lies in the unseen world. And also along with that, I found that I had lived several past lives, from the revelation of someone who is very close to me that said they were there in that incarnation that they took at that time. As a kid, I had memories and flashes of my past lives, and always asked my parents what they meant, and they simply said I was either imagining things or I dreamed it. But when the person in question that is close to me opened up my eyes, I had told them nothing of these memories, and they brought them up out of thin air, remembering them. And all of them came flooding back in because they all got pushed to the very back of my mind as I grew older.
I also, through a beloved spiritual mentor learned about the twin flame path, and have physically reunited with my twin flame. And since we have reunited, it feels like we traveled from one Earth to an alternate Earth, where things are slightly different. She feels it too. And, having always believed in a multiverse I do not doubt that that could be exactly what happened.
This has been quite a journey, and it’s not over yet. Sometimes it can be quite trying and scary having to leave behind what I thought I knew and believed, but I know I am being guided and loved by the most positive forces in the universe. You don’t have to believe my story, but it is very real to me, and has changed my life in a way that defies human words.


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